By Black Love And Marriage.com on May 16, 2012
In Becoming One
By Dina Z. Colada
Acting like your boyfriends mommy? You can be doing more damage than you realize.
The breast feeding “Time” cover this month, can be tied in to dating and relationships of course. If you’re a mother or have never even changed a diaper, you could be breastfeeding, or in essence, turning off your boyfriend or husband. Don’t get me wrong, Breasts and the surrounding areas are a great place for your lover to spend lots of quality time. But doting on him like his mother, will turn him off faster than you say “got milk?”
Mother’s Day Weekend just passed and we need to leave it up to mothers to act like mothers. If you spend more time with scrubbing bubbles and dirty dishes, and less time with him kissing your neck, follow this list to see why you could be in the “mommy zone” and not in the “hot mamma” zone. When you don’t act like his mommy, he’ll be following you around like puppy, and that’s what you want.
1.Clingy.
Men hate when women act like he is the center of the universe. Do you expect him to go shopping with you, join you while you’re getting a manicure, and force him to go to your cousins baby shower? They are expected to fulfill your every little need. This is a lot of pressure for a guy. It will turn him off and he will either become a “whatever you say dear,” kind-of guy or he will run as fast as he can. Leaving all the Pink glitter nail polish, oh-so-cute diaper cakes, and you my dear, crying in his tracks.
Solution: Do yourself and your boyfriend a favor. Get a life. Do things for yourself without him. When you are having a girl’s night out, he will miss you and will appreciate you much more when you are with him. He also won’t have any nightmares of women ohhing and ahhiing over 7 pink onesies
2.Nagging.
Just like mommy saying “pick up your football cards, wear something that matches and take you scraps to the compost,” can turn into “take out the trash would ya?” or “call me when you get there, I don’t want to worry” or “the gutter has trees growing out of it, you really should clean them out.” These words scream mommy alert! Then, in a tinny robot voice in his mind he hears “must go hide in the garage and get away from her.”
Solution: Don’t demand anything and learn how to say “honey, would you please help me with the dishes, so we can spend more time together in the bedroom tonight?” I guarantee he will really hear you then.
3.Emotional Drama.
“You're 30 minutes late, and now dinner is cold. I can't believe you would do this to me, I've was slaving over the stove making this homemade Marinara just for you!” Yikes. He was stuck in traffic after work and he was getting hungry and was missing you. As soon as he walks in the door he loses his appetite. But he feels obligated to eat because if you don't his white button down might be dowsed in red sauce.
Acting like your boyfriends mommy? You can be doing more damage than you realize.
Solution: Learn to keep your drama to yourself. If you need to vent, don't make him wrong for it. He didn't cause the traffic jam after all, he was just part of it. Instead you can say “I felt really disappointed when you weren't home for dinner in time, but it's really nice to see you now. I would love a hug." Doesn't that feel better? I can guarentee it will feel better to him.
Keep in your feminine lover side when you're dealing with a man. He has been told what to do for at least 18 years by his mother. He is a man and now. He has a life of his own. If you want to be a part of it, don't act like his mother. Check out My Boyfriend Isn’t Making an Effort! What Should I Do? by Dina Z Colada.
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Thursday, May 17th 2012 at 8:01AM
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