By Eric Payne | on November 17th, 2012
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage and Family
Because of my wife, I am transformed. But only recently, have I come to realize this and am now able to understand and navigate the following:
Growth From Strife
Every argument, disagreement, mistake and misstep is and should be used as an opportunity for growth. They represent challenges to apologize and move on and to act differently and to hopefully be better the next time a similar situation arises….. Look at it from the right perspective and don’t point fingers.
Reassuring The One You Love
When your wife is feeling anxious, depressed, crazy…whatever, instead of trying to figure her out, try your best to reassure her.
Can You Love Without Knowing
Do you truly know your wife?
•Do you know her hopes and dreams?
•Do you know what causes her pain?
•Do you know the tragedies of her past?
•Do you know what makes her smile (not how to make her smile)?
•When she is pushing buttons do you rise up against her or do you pray for her?
•Do you desire to understand her, or do you not get why she doesn’t get you?
•Do you realize that she is an entire person and not only your spouse, they way you understand your friends are people too?
Team Spirit
And last, but definitely not least, you and your wife are together to complement one another, not to compete. The quest to be right or point out wrongs works against the team building. In sports we all shake our heads when teammates begin arguing with each other in the middle of a game after a botched play. We know that it is inevitable that they will lose and quite possibly never be the same again. If it’s so important that this not happen with your favorite team, shouldn’t the same be true of your marriage? Get in a huddle with your wife and leave it with a plan to succeed. Together.
BMWK – in every relationship there should be growth. Not only personal growth, but also growth towards understanding and loving each other better….Growth towards a better relationship. Have you experienced growth in your own relationship? How has your spouse transformed you?
About the author
Named a Top 50 Dad Blogger in 2011 by Cision Media & Babble.com, Eric writes about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between at Makes Me Wanna Holler – Man, Dad, Husband. He recently appeared on CNN Headline News to discuss fatherhood and it’s impact on African American families.
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Sunday, November 18th 2012 at 11:17AM
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