By Black Love And Marriage.com on December 5, 2012
In Ask The Maat's (Videos),Becoming One,Conflict Management
VIDEO: I met my husband online. I was living in the UK at the time and he was in the USA, where he was born and raised. He wanted to be the one to pay for mine and my daughter’s plane tickets, while I sold my furniture and books, so that I could sort out the other expenses. As we got nearer the date for us to fly over to the USA, my then boyfriend, was struggling extremely to raise the money. Please bear in mind that his only source of income was selling books. He kept giving me his word and sharing his plans for the next set date to fly, and then the next, but he was just not putting in the time or the effort to actually go out and sell those books. It burns me to say that I saw those red flags to wait and see if this man was a diligent one, who could take care of business. Cutting a long story short, after help from others, we arrived in the USA. We were only supposed to live with his grandma for two weeks, and then move into our own place which his uncle was giving up. Well, that plan fell through, and my husband didn’t have a plan b, and still his only source of income was the books. We ended up staying at his grandma’s for six weeks and everyday we argued, even violently at times because he refused to get a second job so that we could eat, be clothed, and get our own place. This caused much war with his family getting involved, and we were kicked out of Grandma’s home. After much arguing, he finally applied for a previous job, and worked only one week, before deciding that he is going to drop it and return to selling literature. We are now living with friends, and we have no money for food, clothing and certainly nothing to get our own apartment. I have pushed and pushed him to go out there and apply for jobs, and he has made the least attempts, but his thing is is that God has called him to sell Christian books! But the man wakes up any hour of the day, and leaves in the afternoon/evening, and expects to get a full day’s wage!!! My twelve year old daughter and I are in dire straits. I told him that we are returning to the UK in March, and everyone has told me don’t do it, but at least that way I can work and support me and my child. Our arguments are escalating and affecting everyone around. I have come to the point where I feel nothing but resentment to him. I don’t want him to touch me; I don’t want to even sleep in the same bed as him, and my respect for him and his for me has totally died. I am so sorry that this is long winded. I have given up on his promises and being made to feel bad by his friends and family for expecting my husband to go get a job and support his family. I cry everyday, and I feel that he is slowing me down, and suffocating the hard working, ambitious woman that I am. What advice would you give?
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Wednesday, December 5th 2012 at 11:56AM
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