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6 Secrets to a Hotter Marriage (725 hits)

What one couple sees as hot in marriage, points out Emily Morse, Ph.D., ex therapist and host of the podcast s*x With Emily, "might look like an arctic freeze in another relationship. However, we can all agree what's not hot in a long-term union, and that's getting stuck in a s*xual routine." You can keep your marriage from going stale and steer clear of a s*x rut with these six experts secrets.

1. Amp up your anticipation.
Increase your desire for one another with moves that make you anticipate the main event, such as "sending your partner a racy s*xt or letting your foot explore up his leg at a family dinner," suggests Kat Van Kirk, licensed marriage and s*x therapist. "Sometimes just introducing the idea that you want them is enough to get both of your motors running."

2. Make a s*xy bucket list.
"Communication is the key to an exciting and satisfying s*x life, and sharing your fantasies and desires with your partner will directly increase intimacy, and inspire plenty of new s*xual explorations," says Morse. Sit down and write our at least three things you'd each like to try. For example, Morse says, you might write, "I'd like to experiment bondage," or "I have always wanted to make love on the beach." Then, she says, "start crossing s*xual experiences off each other's lists. See how many you can knock out in a week, a month or even a year."

3. Don't wait until you become aroused.
"Research has shown that female s*xual desire is most often reliant on physical stimulation," points out Van Kirk. "That may seem like you are putting the cart before the horse, but women don't tend to seek out s*x on their own as much as men because we are not as physiologically driven by testosterone." So rather than "waiting for lightening to strike, take responsibility for your arousal by stimulating yourself or showing your partner how to," says Van Kirk.

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