WHY THE FOCUS SHOULD BE ON CHRIS, NOT RIHANNA !!!

Iread that domestic violence is the new hip thing for the media!

Yes, more now than ever before! It was made to be an overnight sensation.We can thank whoever taught Chris, and his teacher of teachers.

Notice the "WORD".... TEACH -HER !
Nothing is wrong with " HIM" !

Females give birth to human beings, Women nurture the newborn and develop the male and female children into Men and Women.
SlaveAmerica has produced Female Mothers, not Women that are Mothers;
Man is created to honor Woman.
a male abused by females wants to stop female child abuse.

Yes, the only way he knows how to ?
So where's the starting point of turn -around from this destructive cycle ?
Like you said, honoring.

Pray for them both! They still have a lot to learn about each other's when it come to THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT! In the book of Galatians Chapter 5 we will find that there are nine fruits of spirit listed. They are;LOVE,JOY,PEACE ,LONGSUFFERING,
GENTENSS,GOODNESS,FAITH,MEELNESS,TEMPERANCE. May God work on both of them humaness in flesh and teach them about the humaness in the spirit to one another.
Pastor.Lenora Peterson

And not just them Sister, all of our youth of today need to have this knowledge, ( the one's that don't) !
God knows that there's plenty of them.

Long before this situation with these two young people was Ike and Tina Turner and no one bothered to put that on the news as much as these. As for the new Hip Hop nonsense of a correlation, they are R and B Artist, but human beings first. One of the most important things that have come out of all of this is the dialogue about this ever pressing and important cancer that has destroyed the lives of so many, both directly and indirectly for so long. I just think that the focus needs to shift from the people themselves and more on the issue. Domestic Violence.

I think it's just mind boggling to many out there (even me) why the victims of domestic abuse stays with the abuser, but I guess we all have to remember that the victim is never to be blamed. Excellent blog Doc!

Jeremy : Don't you get it twisted ! Sounds like you're condoning to me !
But I can expect that !
It's exactly what Sister Marquerite just said, the issue IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
While were at it, they don't have the luxury of being private in the entertainment business. That comes with being famous.
As popular as these two are, they can't make a move.So get real !
Lookit, who really had the obvious problem ?
There's nothing that warrants being beat.
Oh, I see, if it hadn't happened.... "SHE" would've still needed counciling !
Give me a break !
Bottomline, Domestic violence has been and is a problem, so is our youth !
Both are OUT OF CONTROL !
Kudos to the organization you mentioned Kyras, our youth needs this.
Maybe, yes through continued dialog others will surface.

Thanks Jen !
I wanted to have this looked at from all angles, thats why I wrote it.
No one knows what really took place, but we all do know what the elements were.
Thats the part thats nothing new.
No matter what the media says, something definately happened.
I guess her make-up artist was having a bad day.

The issue is tah -dah DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!

I enjoyed reading your blog and those who posted comments also revealed great viewpoints.

I must interject. Are WOMEN the only people who can be victims of domestic violence in relationships? I haven't made any final decisions about the Chris and Rihanna situation because I haven't heard anything concrete on what actually happened from either of them.

So many people are assuming that she hasn't come forward because she's some weak, scared, little girl victim who is just so desperate to have the love of a man, she'll go back to being with one who beats her.

But answer me this: has anyone ever thought that she's not so quick to come forward because she might feel some culpability in provoking what happened?

And don't get me wrong. He was wrong to put his hands on her. Loss of self-control is not justifiable on either side. As I said before, however, a woman should never put her hand son a man unless she expects an in-kind response and is ready to fight.

I'm not sure what happened in this case, but from what I've heard, Rihanna ain't no okee doke. I've heard she can and does fight. I don't know what happened in this situation though. Until I do, I'll save the hotline number for domestic violence. I still don't know which one of them to give it to because neither of them has come forward. In any case, I'm praying for them both. It's possible that they both need anger management as well as counseling to deal with the deeply personal wounds they've been carrying around that make either one of them likely to put their hands on other people as enemies.

Blessings...

Let me try and sum this up !
According to Dr.Phil's show last week, a detective that took the complaint that was filed by Rihanna, stated that the trigger to the altercation/ violent escapade was because of cell phone messages left from a past woman associate of Chris.
The confrontation escalated into a heated argument, (words were being exchanged and the fight was on). (who hit or punched who first is irrelevent, because this was a one-sided story), She attempted to threaten, and provoke him further by pretending to call her agent/ publicist and requesting that the police meet her at her home. He then threatened her life, and continued to beat her further.
He pulled over at some point and she exits the vehicle.
Only the two of them and God knows what really happened.
Are women the only victims of domestic violence ?? We all know the answer to that which is NO. However, doing the math, past and present, men out number being violent toward women.
The final decision ? The final decision should be that before anyone could even consider moving on in a relationship they need to realize that they need fixing within themselves. Love isn't suppose to hurt, not in these uncertain terms.(physical or mentally).
Again, here's the problem....Not having certain elements, while you're still developing,(inmaturity). These elements that must be acquirred are :
Self control, Self-respect and Self-worth. This Is something that is missing in our youth of today.
A lot of it is missing in grown folks too !

Yes let's try to sum this up, because the response on this network is mind boggling and revealing. The ignorance I see continues. Women who have no sense of what it is to be woman in relation to a man and in particular a Black man is so debilitating and sad. I know who the Rihanna's of the world are. They are young women who have never known violence. They are women who understand that a man does not hit a woman. Period. The comments about she being a fighter--refes to rough housing with her brothers when they were kids. She is not a tomboy.

What no one expects in a heated argument to end up being the reason for a beat down? OKAY people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's my 2 cents on that.

Rihanna is extraordinarily beautiful, another reason for the haters to come out.

You want to talk about haters? huh? She is Caribbean and Black Americans have no love for their Caribbean sisters, yeah lets talk about it..let'sputit all out there, she is everything that a black girl wishes she was. Not wants to be that's the other one with the long blonde wigs, let's not get it twisted. Come on now..that is a cafe au lait complexion yes I know you don't know what that means --it means light coffee colored complexion, she has a beautiful body-yes it's banging, she doesn't speak ghetto-ese--Come on now haters? come on.. she has naturally green-hazel eyes, she wears her own hair short and black no less and she got a wide nose. A Nubian Princess straight up..you'all are secretly happy she got the beat down--and poor baby boy awwwwwwwwwwww the baby aww he was ..what's the word ?" oh, p-r-o-v-o-k-e-d-! huh? Well let me take your side of the issue ok?, let's see supposed she slapped him and he slapped her back, and it was on--what we are trying to teach you here is that his background as a fatherless boy who has anger issues attacked way beyond what was necessary. Then tried to prevent her from calling for assistance. That last action is a classic in domestic violence brutality. D.V. is a Mental Health issue.

But wait it gets better La Donna, don't we know that men are weak? The brave and the few that are healthy emotionally,mentally and physically are well aware of their physical power? What would they have done? Walked away, would P.Diddy have done this? oh no he would not have , how about Lil Romeo, Master P's son? nope, how about Bow Wow, hey how about Snoop himself? some men know when to draw the line.

Rihanna's case was a beat down, the world is talking about it in other languages--why didn't the the hospital send her to counseling to protect her as is required in Domestic violence admissions to hospitals? Why is his silly -a@@ still running around looking stupid! yes he looks stupid..and worse why did her father a drug user and so forth--say he supports her decisions--well let me put it out here, if this was Beyonce-regardles of what the Black or any other community opined? Mathew Knowles would have kept it out the media--and had one of those "we are going to get to know each other very well" meetings with Mr. Chris, and in that meeting he would have learned some women you can hit some you can't.

I see through the eyes of a mother with two obviously beautiful daughters as all daughters are beautiful.

Lack of srong family values is why he is a woman beater and lack of strong family values is the reason she went back to him. Neither knew the world of Domestic Violence. A man has been taught that he can beat a woman to keep her in place, and woman has NOT been taught that she is a precious being. The answer is ..move on..too many wonderful men around who would treat her as the young princess she is, and lot of women for him who are without self-respect and would prostitute themselves...for the fame and money. They can have him! Sick and tired of this issue.

I knew she shouldn't have been alone here without her family. That's another story.

Yes Goddess !
You summed it up just right !
I'm glad you put it out there like this, you hit the hammer on the nail with this one !
I REST MY CASE !

Marta, if you don't think it's possible for a woman to provoke a man's violence, you're living in an alternate dimension. I know my view is controversial, but I've BEEN a victim of domestic violence. He hit me...it was OVER. I'm not advocating for any man who puts his hands on a woman, BUT I'm ALSO not advocating for any WOMAN who puts her hands on a MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! That's my two cents.

I want to hear from Chris and Rihanna and until I do, I'm not hanging either of them out to dry. They're both still young, which is a plus because THEY can learn NOW how to conduct themselves as adults and how to apply diplomacy and level headedness in sensitive times.

Like I said before, I think it's possible that they BOTH need personal counseling. They each have a past and obviously some past issues that haven't been dealt with. Reading the story Dr. Blaylock posted, if it's true, oozes immaturity on both sides. And for me, who punched who first DOES matter. It doesn't justify his response, but if she punched him to initiate this altercations, she loses a great deal of footing with me.

And Marta, I too, have two daughters. You know what I'm teaching THEM????????? "Keep your hands to YOURSELF. If you hit or slap a man and he hits or slaps you back, don't be shocked. After all, I taught YOU to hit back if anyone puts his/her hands on YOU." That's the common sense side of "Treat others how you want to be treated".

With THAT, they're also told and taught, "if a guy hits you once, he's likely to hit you again. There are too many out there to let yourself get wrapped up in one who would dare to put his hands on you." (Of course, they're also told about grit ball because Mama don't play that). LOL.

Blessings...

Anyone can provoke another to violence, if we're referring to either s*x. One wrong word that could be , misunderstood, or even misheard could be the trigger point for the individual that can't control anger which turns into violence.
There should be a problem, if... you say something to someone and they take the liberty to hit or abuse you. No matter what it was you said !
Your body, mind and whole possible "Being", strickly belongs to you, as well as your own personal space.
Get in it..., hurt me..., we have a problem.
Flip side : Our young ladies don't really know how to come to most of us with this issue because most of us are unapproachable, or don't have the answers ourselves.
However, had we women had the luxury of day-one being well-loved, wanted, learning self-worth and self respect, maybe (you think), the world would be a little different ?
Hear from Chris and Rihanna ?
Sister, you and I won't ever hear from them ! Lol ! Lol !
I'm not being mean or nasty because thats not my nature, but whatever we hear will be from the media.Lol !
Bottom line is ....we have got to teach our young ladies (females).
Likewise, our men have got to teach our young men (males).
Majority of them need counseling, majority are out of control.
Above all we have got to begin to show them some love and help them.
This is really the only way this can begin to change.

Dr. Blaylock, we agree. "Above all we have got to begin to show them love and help them. This is really the only way this can begin to change."

I also agree that it's more likely than not that we'll hear from either of them...at least not for awhile. It's possible that the WAY we'll hear from them will be through their crafts.

Blessings...

Yes, and hopefully it will be positive.