Drama for John on the West Coast!!
A friend of my husband is trying to visit his children this week on the west coast. Mind you,( let’s call him) John had discussed the travel plans with the kid’s mom for when was the best time to see the kids prior to going out there. Now it appears that after flying across the country on a 4 hour flight, the kid’s mom decides to give the poor fellow a hard time. When John called the mother to let her know he had arrived as planned in the city, she refused to give him her home address.
Then to make matters worse she wanted John to see the boys at a mall on her terms. Needless to say, John decided he wasn’t going to be dictated to and decided that if he couldn’t pick his kids up from their house as he has done before at their other house, then he would not bother himself. So when John asked her to drive the children to his hotel, the excuse was she had worked overnight and was tired. Didn’t she know she was going to be working before hand?
Isn’t it enough that this poor guy paid for an air plane ticket, hotel, and a rental car? Is this fair BWC/BIA? We often talk about how there are no good black men out there, but what about the good black men who are trying to do the right thing by their kids and are being harassed by the mothers’ of their children for no reason except that we (black women) can?
Sometimes I think many men just decide they don’t want to go through the drama…then these men get labeled as "no good black men" because they don’t want to play on our terms. Why should a man send money to children he can’t see as in John’s case? Our children need their fathers and shouldn’t be used as bait to manipulate the good black men.
Nuff said for now…what do you guys think?
Fatherhood Poll
Being a dad today is:
A. easier than it was for my dad
B. harder than it was for my dad
C. about the same as it was for my dad
Then to make matters worse she wanted John to see the boys at a mall on her terms. Needless to say, John decided he wasn’t going to be dictated to and decided that if he couldn’t pick his kids up from their house as he has done before at their other house, then he would not bother himself. So when John asked her to drive the children to his hotel, the excuse was she had worked overnight and was tired. Didn’t she know she was going to be working before hand?
Isn’t it enough that this poor guy paid for an air plane ticket, hotel, and a rental car? Is this fair BWC/BIA? We often talk about how there are no good black men out there, but what about the good black men who are trying to do the right thing by their kids and are being harassed by the mothers’ of their children for no reason except that we (black women) can?
Sometimes I think many men just decide they don’t want to go through the drama…then these men get labeled as "no good black men" because they don’t want to play on our terms. Why should a man send money to children he can’t see as in John’s case? Our children need their fathers and shouldn’t be used as bait to manipulate the good black men.
Nuff said for now…what do you guys think?
Fatherhood Poll
Being a dad today is:
A. easier than it was for my dad
B. harder than it was for my dad
C. about the same as it was for my dad
Public Policy Overview :Why should policymakers care about responsible fatherhood?
The federal government spends $100 billion every year to support father-absent homes.
In June 2008, National Fatherhood Initiative released The One Hundred Billion Dollar Man, a ground-breaking study that showed that the federal government spends $100 billion each year supporting father-absent homes. And that's a conservative estimate - the study did not measure impact for related costs such as the criminal justice system, which is overwhelmed by men who grew up in father-absent homes.
The most challenging social problems of our time are connected to father absence.
If you want to address poverty, child abuse, crime/recidivism, drug abuse, teen pregnancy, or education, then restoring fatherhood is an integral part of the solution. Father absence is not a single issue, and its social and economic consequences are felt across society.
Father absence has a direct impact on the well-being of millions of children.
25 million children, 1 out of 3, grow up in homes in which their biological fathers do not live. In the African-American community, the rate is 2 out of 3. These children are significantly more likely to live in poverty, drop out of school, engage in risky behaviors…all issues the government grapples with every day.
http://www.fatherhood.org/research.asp
http://www.fatherhood.org/