What Would You Have Done If This Happened To You?

A very similar thing happened to me once. Except the waitress NEVER made her way to my table, they instead sent a guy from the kitchen to take my order ONLY. Fortunately I was dressed very professionally so when I made it very clear how pissed I was to the manager I didn'tseem like an uneducated thug. My suggesstion to anyone this happens to is to make your feelings known but do it in a very decent, calculated manner. Just don't get up and leave. We can't demand respect but we can command it.

If the wait was really pro-longed, I would of flagged the waiter before seeing a manager, but if that didn't seem to help I would then asked for the manager. I feel you kept your composure in tact. Which I think I would of done much the same. Normally, and I say so in with discretion I don't feel frustration in getting upset very much. This has taken years of practicing patience. You must take an outlook beyond race because sometimes situations like that are attributed to character and the personality. You did well overall Jen. Emotions and feelings can lead to quick observations that are not always true. Keep an open mind that everyone really doesn't have formality of "Good Old Fashioned Manners."

When I was in college I began frequenting a downtown coffee shop to study. My first visit there the waitress only poured one cup of coffee and never returned to refill nor check on me. Maybe it was b/c I was young and she probably thought "broke", too. So I left a penny and a note that read, "better service gets better tips". From the next visit on she treated me like the mayor.

So, my advice is to do the same thing. Even if you gotta squeeze it from a ketchup bottle.

This happened to me too. I don't have patience when it comes to certain things. I was with a couple of friends who are like me. We waited I kid you not fifteen minutes as we saw other people come in be seated, waited immediately. Our waiter did not offer us drinks, bread nadda. Everyone else before their bottoms could hit the seat were given this "courtesy". After they had been served their meals our waiter comes with a smile saying "Oh my I am soooo sorry I thought I had served you". We looked at him got up went to the seater person and asked for a manager. Didn't take long for the manager to come out. He gave us each five free meals. We went back for the meals had exceptional service. And would later frequent the restuarant often but we never gave the waiter a second chance. One time he was waiting our area we requested another waiter. I don't give my money to just anyone.

I not only WOULD have done the same thing...I HAVE done the same thing. If you don't make people aware, it nullifies your right to complain about it. (And I use complain for lack of a better word here).

Kudos to you. And the best thing is that there was a positive RESULT from it.

Blessings...

I really appreciate your comments here because this is one reason I joined this site...to share situations like this one. I "feel" like Emotions and feelings can lead to quick observations that are not always true as Miisrael stated which the reason is why I continued to observe. As Brother Amos and Sister Dora have alluded to sometimes we are treated poorly because of stereotypes such as being poor and not tipping well. Sister Irma I'm going to pass on your offer to come to Cali...I'm afraid to death of EARTHQUAKES!! Thanks for the kudos Dee, I really needed that. (((smiles))).

Sister Crystal you are a true American girl with the in your face say it loud, " I am black (AMERICAN) and I'm proud!! (((LMBO))) If the tables were turned... this is exactly what our Caucasian brothers and sisters would do as I've seen then do on many occasions when they aren't treated like the "privileged". Once a fellow colleague of mine who happened to be a Caucasian blond haired blued gal got offended that a Caucasian man didn’t flirt with her, but me instead as she must have been accustomed to. She got back to our nursing unit and told the other nurses that the guy must have been gay. She really was serious.

Again guys, thanks for all you have said. I feel really proud to be an African American woman because I'm standing up for my rights and not giving up the fight. (That's Bob Marley) LoL

Me and my mother were in a situation similar to this one at a seafood place, and trust me we never set foot in that place again. If they refuse to make the service a courteous one, then there is absolutely no need for to make it courteous for them.

Brother Maxwell I absolutely thank you for what you have said. I've always made it my business even when I was a "struggling" university student to tip generously from my experience working at the Waffle House back in high school. I used to fight w/ one boyfriend about tipping. He would actually take my tips off the table if he felt it was too much. Can you imagine?!

Brother Mozell... I'm not into freebies... that's how those credit card folk got me into mountains of debt before graduating the Univ of South Carolina saying, "We'll give you a free water bottle if you just take 2 minutes to sign up to see if you qualify for Discover card." Thanks, but no thanks. I'll pay anytime, because nothing is really free (in my opinion).

Sister Siebra I told the manager I would not be coming back and I meant it. The devil I know is better than the "so called" angel (un-named restaurant) I didn't. Now I know... Lol. Sister Irma you are quite a civil rights activist!! You do your thang for our people in Marysville.

I understand Sister Irma...injustice crys out to those who have ears to hear it. It's (discrimination) hard to ignore.

So true Brother Mozell. I knew this girl who every time we went out and she had to pay for the food would always look for a way to get free food by making up stuff and complaining about the temperature of the food....whatever she could think of. I stopped going out with her to restaurants.

Jen if you for one moment start to believe that this is 2009 therefore this can not be happening or this was an isolated happening(in America) then come to Marysville, Ca. and go to the Dominoe's pizza....(smile)

This goes way beyond race/prejudice and on into total disrespect for a fellow member of the human race, my sister...

Here is what we ended up doing.Any time you go into pizza place or any place and you see only one table with people at it(White)who are already eating when you come in...you and your friend sit and wait in vain for service by a White waitress who is less than 100 feet away and doing nothing that is until she goes to wait on White people who came in long after you did, then you have a major problem if you have not figured out what is going on by now.

You leave and return a few weeks later at a different time of day so you are assued that it was not just the personal action of that waitress...The same thing happens.

To settle this issue, you contact all of the minority clubs at your local community college and let them take it from there. Every step of the way has been thourly documented so that you can have the press there at the given time...when these students come into the place to buy pizza.(smile)

Jen, every time I say to my self, this is it, I will not be doing any more Civil Rights actions, something happens to me or someone comes to our group (us old people)with another reason that this fight is still on going.

Me, I love it, because it is always a teaching tool for the young people.They do all of the foot work these days. I am so glad for the computer(smile)