Why Aren't More Men MANNING UP?
When I became a parent more than five years ago, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would be there for my son. I grew up wanting to establish an everlasting love connection with my wife-to-be, and the children that we bore would be the secondary recipients of the love that we shared. In short, my son is receiving the best of what my wife and I have to offer. But my review of statistics from the education and criminal justice systems makes me wonder if many of our men see the writing on the wall.
Our children crave the leadership that can only be provided by benevolent (i.e., good) and strong men. But they are left wanting because many of these same men have become selfish and heartless, busying themselves with activities that have nothing to do with sowing positive seeds into the lives of their children, and/or other people's children. Visit any mentoring program in your city of residence, and you will be told by staff members just how tough it is to recruit and commit brothers to the mentoring process. The same holds true for after-school tutoring programs.
My question to you today is, Are we men manning up to our obligation to our children and other peoples children? If we aren't, why are we sitting on the sidelines as our women try to fill the void that we have left vacant? Yes, they are providing the nurturing that our children need, but they are doing a disservice to our boys. Boys need benevolent and strong men to look up to. When they have these men in their lives, they tend to develop a more definitive masculine identity, which motivates them to serve as their wives providers and protectors.
What do you think?
I look forward to reading your responses.
Jeffery A. Faulkerson, MSSW
www.jefferyafaulkerson.com
Our children crave the leadership that can only be provided by benevolent (i.e., good) and strong men. But they are left wanting because many of these same men have become selfish and heartless, busying themselves with activities that have nothing to do with sowing positive seeds into the lives of their children, and/or other people's children. Visit any mentoring program in your city of residence, and you will be told by staff members just how tough it is to recruit and commit brothers to the mentoring process. The same holds true for after-school tutoring programs.
My question to you today is, Are we men manning up to our obligation to our children and other peoples children? If we aren't, why are we sitting on the sidelines as our women try to fill the void that we have left vacant? Yes, they are providing the nurturing that our children need, but they are doing a disservice to our boys. Boys need benevolent and strong men to look up to. When they have these men in their lives, they tend to develop a more definitive masculine identity, which motivates them to serve as their wives providers and protectors.
What do you think?
I look forward to reading your responses.
Jeffery A. Faulkerson, MSSW
www.jefferyafaulkerson.com
There ARE deadbeat fathers across the spectrum. This IS true. I have one. And though there are many deadbeat fathers out there, there are also many bitter mothers whose constant interference inhibits a father's ability TO come to the carpet. And by that, I mean RELATIONSHIP as the primary consideration. Most of the focus is placed on money and relationships suffer because too many women have the philosophy that because he missed a payment, he can't see his kid. That's just one perspective...there are many others, I'm sure.
Every deadbeat father is not a deadbeat by choice. Some are pushed away and lose the will to fight back because the justice system doesn't really care about the children. It, like too many mothers, only think a child is being supported when money exchanges hands.
Again, just one perspective.
Blessings...