ARE THE TIES THAT BIND THE ONES KEEPING US BLIND?

Anyone, including family that doesn't support you, respect you as you, and have negative feelings toward you..... You need to rid yourself from them as much as posible at any cost.
Hardest people : A parent or a child.
I say this because it's true, that the closest ones to you can hurt you the most.
You could love a person, yet not like them. If they don't mean you well, what's the point ? You can give them your love, but not all of yourself.
Be true to thineself !

Thanks Beloveds !
We need to know that we can't be all things to all people !
Because of our nature, ( Loving ), we are the most giving peple on the planet, and neglect ourselves in the process.
Ever notice how we love EVERYBODY but ourselves ?
How can you possibly help someone if you don't have YOU together ?
We don't belong to our parents, children, or anyone as far as this is concern.
We belong to life itself !
Our own !
Goddess Irma,
You were fortunate !
Your blessings have been a cup running over !

Mrs. Blalock, it seems we agree. I'll take it a step further and also say that it starts first and foremost with an intimate knowledge of what love IS as well as knowledge about who best represents love. In the case for believers (in Christ), that representation IS Christ.

Ya know, speaking from experience, I can say I'm glad that even when I didn't seem all that lovable that the people who supposedly loved me really DID love me. As a teenager, my relationship with my mother was very strained. In many ways, I felt abused and disregarded. Sometimes, I felt like I didn't matter and that manifested in my attitude. Having been raised by that same strong, God-fearing mother and grandmother, I got quite a few knots upside my head. I didn't understand it then, but now that I'm a mother, boy, do I get it. Whatever was done was for my own good. It wasn't my mother's job to be my friend. It was her job (her calling, if you will) to be my MOTHER and in my teen years, that made her extremely unpopular with me.

But despite the strain and stress and drama we visited upon each other, at the age of 26, I unloaded all my feelings of past hurt onto my mother. I was respectful about it because after all, she is my mother...but at the same time, I spoke more freely than I ever had. We didn't' talk for a month. Yes, a whole month. In that unloading, she admitted that sometimes, she was overly harsh or maybe even just wrong for her response to things, but that she did what she did and said what she said because she wanted me to be better than her...to have it better than she had it...and that was the way she knew how to do it. And it may not have always been right, but it definitely has proven to be effective. She also expressed what it felt like dealing with her only girl...the girl she prayed for...and how experiencing any little bit of disrespect was hurtful to her. Now I didn't get into a whole lot when I was young...no drinking, no drugging, no partying, no s*x (that's right...I was a virgin until well after high school and my nickname in high school was "the virgin tease"...it's funny now but then it hurt). Although I didn't get into much and wasn't interested in all that, I had a mouth. I had a thing where I'd say whatever was on my mind and I would say it to whomever, including my mother. I've learned a lot from those years and how mothers as matriarchs just DESERVE for me to shut up when they have something to say. And it doesn't matter if they're wrong or even if I vehemently disagree. For the elders, I just zip it in that moment. At a later date, I might touch on it and attempt to clarify my position and respectfully disagree, but in the moment, when it's easiest to step out of pocket because of emotion, I just shut up. That's proven to be effective for me.

Anyway, we didn't talk for a whole month after that. Ya'll that's my mama. And that was the longest month of my life. She called me after that month just to talk and her phone call was enough for me. I didn't give up on her and she didn't give up on me. The love was always there and neither of us lost love, which says, "I can be so wrong sometimes, but you're still very much wanted and needed in my life. I love you and nothing you could do or say could change that." I'm saying that about my mother and me and about my daughters and me. I'm not saying that should absolutely apply to everyone. Love everyone...yes. Don't hold grudges...no. Forgive because it frees you and them, but don't forget. Remembering certain things is wisdom...remembering a chronology and how things got out of hand so that if you see any remnants of it in a future event, you can proactively nip it in the bud.

Anyway, that's enough. I just want to encourage everyone that even though it can be necessary to separate ourselves from those we love to not let it be that we separate for lack of love. I was raised that you don't love because you expect something in return. You love because that's what you're supposed to do...and that ain't always easy, but it is always necessary. Love lights more fire than hate extinguishes. I forget who said that. Anyway...

Blessings...

Also, Siebra, yes, the ties that bind can sometimes be the worst ones. I've said as much in previous blogs, so I won't go all into it again now. Still, you're right. And it's shameful that we don't celebrate each other more...that we can't be happy for each other...that we can't share each other's pains without someone in that close knit circle finding folly in once we walk away. The most I can do to change it is to be who I'm supposed to be...to possess those qualities myself and hope they rub off.

That's probably the best any of us can do. Great post, Siebra.

Blessings...

One thing that I know that is "truly certain" is..... the" Only" relationship that Truly Matters,.... is the one you have with "Your God " !
How we love each other is SUPPOSE to be mirrored by the way we receive it !
UNCONDITIONALLY !
Again, not always the case.
In the very end, no one will be with you !

Mo, I dig that t-shirt!!!! It would definitely fit me sometimes. And thanks for the encouragement.

Mrs. Blalock, say that then! LOL!

Blessings...
Blessings...

I'm sorry, let me correct you, I'm not a Mrs, and my last name is Blaylock.
Mother Goddess or Doc will do just fine !
I'm very straightforward and candid from the get, as you may know.
I just believe in correcting people when they don't have my things right.
No harm done, just letting you know. ( a person's name, should be music to them )!
Anyway,
This is a great post, glad to have a minute to chime in and catch up with folks a little.
See you soon !
Keep it up Siebra !
Toot-a loo,
Doc

Thank you and I love you too Doc!!!

You know I love you too Goddess!
Now this is" Real Love" that binds us" !
A heep sees but a few know !
They better ask somebody and REALLY Get with the program !
Love finds You, if you're worthy !

Try looking at this from this angle...WE tend to hurt the ones that are near our personal space ...the White man goes near, far and wide to do harm to ANY and to ALL others.(smile)

The cure all for all of this is to LOVE AND RESPECT OUR OWN SELF...

Hi Mother Goddess(smile)I am so very, very glad that my mother was someone who I can honestly say she was correct when she taught /she told me that "When she was wrong ,in my eyes, she was still right"!

I do admit that I was not a teen but an adult with teens that I fully understood the meaning of this statement.LOL And, better late than never...

Love ya Dee and even more love and respect to you 110% more after reading your comments relating to your mother. Dee, when I made that comment about after reading your comment that followed mine at the top of this blog, I had changed my mind and about some people do not deserve respect...well it was showing that invisiable tie that we as a community share with each other...

You see (all of those) in this BIA site community, reading Dee's remark caused me to think about how today too many parents / adults do not deserve the respect that was demanded in "MY" generation, because the children seem to be raising the parents ! It hurts to even think about so many children should not listen to nor use their parents as role models...and I want to kill when I hear that about the mother playing the minor role and the father plays the major role!!!!!!!!Who ever teaches that child to be the best person they can be which to Dee it is following the 10 Commandments and to me it is about trying to bring happiness and peace for self and for others should be the goals not the social rules set by laws that changes as the political correct thing to do or the latest social fad like having a street family as your family and making a money profits as quick as you can by breaking the laws that you do not like if they slow you down in any way, form or fashion or: hurt, distruction of your race, color gender or creed to get ahead as the role model for our young people of today!!!!!!!!

Thanks to this blog and to us becoming a true COMMUNICATING family a role model for our young people to be better than we were and to teach their children to be better than them...CHANGE THAT WE CAN ALL BELIEVE IN...(smile)

...so sorry, I meant to say I had changed my mind after reading the comment of Dee's on Siebra's, " AM I A GOOD GIRL OR A BEE -YAYTCH" blog and "this" blog that I have gained...