WHY DO GREAT BLACK MEN MARRY WHITE WOMEN?

I don't think there is anything wrong with black men dating or marrying white women it's what ever floats your boat. I do believe however, that in some cases (not all) that it is like a trading up factor. "I know I've made it when I can get a white woman". That goes for all women we are trying to get find that prize male, white women, black women, whoever, unfortunately when a black man finally "makes it" a whole new world of women open for them not just the girls from the block. All types of women come out of the woodwork to be with these men and they like to go after something they haven't had before the white girl.

Why do so few black women marry white men? (2.8%)

It's obvious that successful men generally look for arm candy and what they've accepted as beautiful usually has European qualities. And this goes for White men marrying Black women.

I do know from experience, that many White women love Black men -- successful or not. If you've ever seen the movie "I'm Done With White Girls"(?), there's an interesting scene where the brother sits on a bus between two women: one White and one Black. He tries to make eye-contact with the Black girl and she looks the other way uninterested, when he turns to the White chick, she's smiling at him w/a twinkle in her eyes. I know this is Hollywood, but I assure you -- while I love my sisters -- this happens far too often.

Back in the day, a group of White co-workers chicks asked me to go dancing with them. We danced all night and was then offered to spend the night at two roomies' house. Compare that to a night on the town with the fellows, asking several sisters to dance and getting turned down by ALL of them! Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not good looking enough to dance with Black women. Now, clubbing has never been my thing and I haven't been in about 15 years -- but there have been multiple occasions where I've sought attractive Black women and given the cold shoulder but had an easier time with White and Hispanic women. Maybe b/c I'm a darkie and it's more of an attraction to them than to Black women. Which if that's the case is a sad commentary on our self-absorption with color. (That being said, at the end of the day I married two beautiful sisters -- separately, of course.)

But, when it comes to decision making time, who would choose to spend an eternity with a lady with a 'tude when they can come home to someone who gives them that twinkle?

Just my $0.02 worth.

wow craig, I never thought of it that way, from that prospective. Yet i can say that brothers do it to, maybe not to black women but women who look differently than the average woman, like a plus size woman. As a plus size woman I get turned down cuz I'm plus size but a brother would never know of the qualities I have cuz he cannot look past what he intially sees. so getting back to what u were saying about sisters looking the other way when us look at them with interest, truth be told u and others do the same thing to other people whether u want to admit it or not.

Preference is cool and I do not have an issue with interracial dating. My problem is when black men try to make black woman feel that they are not as beautiful, smart, s*xy, etc as white women. I'm going to be honest here since this is a blog, SOME brothers are lazy, immature and want everything handed to them on a silver platter. SOME do not want to work for theirs. I know some brothers who date white women cuz they allow these men to do what they please and really do not bother with helping them get to the next level in life. They allow them to eat their food, drive their cars and live in the houses yet SOME men do NOT contribute or help this woman at all. Sometimes its not the fact that they feel they have 'arrived' by having a white woman on their arms as it is that some white women allow brothers to run all over them.

Actually I would argue that there are MANY more great black men that have married black women than the short list of black men above who married white women.

Me personally... I like women of all colors but I do have a preference for women with long hair and a nice physique. In the past, black women almost always had an advantage in the physique department with nicer curves etc but now days white women somehow have developed curves competitive with black chics and well, we all know most black women love cutting their hair. I've never really had a serious relationship with a white chic before, but I would not discriminate. I think I prefer a sister, but at the end of the day i'm going with the woman who treats me the best and happens to enhance my happiness... Can't put a barrier on that because if you do, that just means you are placing a barrier on your potential happiness in order to please other people... What kind of sense does that make?

Some Black men look for non Black women, because they believe there will be less drama than being with a Black women for these brothers tend to believe we have too many issues. Some brothers marry non Black women, because that's who they fall in love with. Other brothers marry non Black women for eye candy as Brother Craig stated.

I hope no one will hang me out to dry, but I tend to lean hard on the side of the brothers who say Black women have too much drama...no offense to my sistahs. I know women of all ethnic backgrounds can bring drama, but no one does it with the passion and "color" like a Black woman. This doesn't mean all Black women, because there is always an exception in everything.

GREAT?----
1st we know you are NOI? Are there any great men in NOI that are married to white women?
GREAT?
1. Frederick was the only educated guy in those days and needed to marry without being put back into slavery.
2. Booker-liked white folks
3. Michael never consumated a marriage with a woman
4. taye is WHO?
5. terrence WHO?
6. i like ice with tea
7. Tiger likes white things-but is a superstar golfer, I like him.
8. chris WHO? is that the negro that cried in the boxing ring?
9. tim is 7ft-300lb, swims, from the virgin islands? thank god he is married
10. dead and liked white mans hair more.
11. soul train got funding in 60s from white women that liked afros.
12. montel-male Ofrah-loves self; and looks good in white uniform with any girl.
I really do love your posts, Siebra. Keep the intelligence coming.

"I know women of all ethnic backgrounds can bring drama, but no one does it with the passion and "color" like a Black woman."

Jen, well there it is in a nutshell, why I'd rather be with a black woman. Call me crazy but who wants a boring relationship? But to repeat my question, why do so few black women marry white men?

To better understand why people choose life partners, we must first consider each case, and not just the race. Race is one of the many factors involved. In the interest of full disclosure, I'm married to a black woman. But I don't hold anything against interracial couples just because they're interracial. As Dr. King once said, let us judge people "not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." Isn't that how you would prefer to be judged?

..."But to repeat my question, why do so few black women marry white men?"...

Brother Steve,
Many Black women I've had the opportunity to speak with just don't feel comfortable dating outside of their ethnic group due to various reasons. Body image issues, guilt that they aren't being true to Black men, myths that "White men can't Hump as good as Black men" (((Lol))), Cultural differences, fear, not feeling good enough to be with a White man, etc... I think more Black women should open up their options to date and mate with other ethnic groups. It's a good thing in my opinion. I hope you find someone special if that's what you're looking for Brother Steve.

"White men can't Hump as good as Black men" (((Lol)))"

Jen, w/all due respect, no. That is NOT it when it comes to the other side of this equation. First, let's re-examine the initial post. Secondly, let's get real in a "real forum". If anyone has spent extensive time around White folks outside of a professional environment, they'd beg to differ. White folk truly believe that White folk are cleaner, better conversationalists, more fun and more attractive than Blacks. So, to assert that it's a Black woman's choice based on this 19th & 20th century fallacy is asinine. Sorry, but it's true.

Let's be honest, most of us are left with limited choices b/c of who we represent. We still have an arduous uphill to climb to convince others we are who we think we are.

The bottom line is black men who marry white women are very unhappy on the inside. This is a fact, they will not let you see it but we all can see the 'straight jacket' they appear in when they are around their wives. They can never be their ole happy jolly self, they are always in a straight jacket trying to be like the white folks their wives take them around, secondly they long for a good home cook meal because we all know how white folks cook and the brother was never accustomed to eating salads and raw asparagus, and every time he sees a fine sister pass by he wonders what the hell he's doing with this uninteresting, diet-absorbed woman, believe me deep down inside he does. Most black men who marry white women are men with deep inner hurt inside them, like in the case of MJ was his color, Tiger Woods, he don't know what the hell he is, Taye Diggs he so black he never see the beauty of his color and I could go on, so they all have their own hang-ups, that's why they go out and find the weakest link - which is definitely the white woman. But, strong brothers marry strong sisters!!

..."So, to assert that it's a Black woman's choice based on this 19th & 20th century fallacy is asinine"...

Brother Craig,
I was answering Brother Steve's question as he obviously likes Black women as do other White men. What world are you living in? Black women are very attractive as well as alluring and appealing. Are you saying that Black women have limited choices? Please explain what you mean by limited choices. In what way is a Black woman's choice limited? If you mean how long to stay in the sun to get that perfect tan before being sunburn... I agree. You've been deeply affected by the media brother. You need to get out more brother...too much work has made you dull. (((Lol)))

Sister Jen,
Such an honest and forthright answer, I appreciate that and thank-you, I will hold to hope.

Brother Mozell,
Yes, a meeting of minds!

Brother Craig,
True it's a fallacy, but not all white folks the same.

Sister Jen, don't forget smart, and funny!

One more thing Brother Craig,
How do you know what White people believe being that you aren't White? Are you now their spokesperson? I think the subject is more of a taboo here in America especially in southern states. If you have the opportunity to visit other places in the world...you would see that Black women are sought out as they have been since the beginning of time. What a shame that you don't know this brother.

After reading all the responses I see an array or reasons why black men marry white women. Most of them I found was because they were in love with them and didn't care it they were white or black. All the opinions are great and well that leaves you a great black woman Seibra that wrote this which I consider a great blog!

Very good post Mwannesi, very much on target.

..."First I’d like to point out that what “white people” believe regarding blacks is inconsequential,"...

I'd like to second that motion Brother Clark; moreover, what anyone thinks about someone's life partner is also inconsequential.

Every man that posted a comment has confirmed everything I felt in my soul regarding this issue. On the other hand, I tell my fellow sistas not to discriminate and date outside the race IF love is what they truly seek. Everybody wants a strong, rich, handsome black man; even black men want black men! We (black women) have had the weight of the world on our shoulders thats we we are uptight, attitudinal, & non trusting. Yeah, I can say it because was, lived with, & around that all my life. When I wised up & let God open my mind & heart, true & real love was given to me. Ladies, come off of that physical "list" of things like tall, dark, handsome, muscular, wavy hair, etc. Get real: what are the qualities that God says is important & will sustain that relationship. BTW, I have dated outside of my race, quite a lot, & still married a beautifully human MAN. Sistas stop being the victims of your own mind.