Help Me, I'm Having a Midlife Crisis

For years, midlife crisis conjured those images. But these days, the old midlife crisis is more likely to be called a midlife transition -- and it's not all bad. The term crisis often doesn't fit, mental health experts say, because while it can be accompanied by serious depression, it can also mark a period of tremendous growth. The trick, of course, is to realize when the transition is developing into depression so you can get help.

Midlife Crisis: His vs. Hers
Men and women are equally likely to experience a transition or crisis, Jones says. "But it looks different in both genders," he says. "The stereotype is a man buys a red sports car," he says. That's not always the case, of course, but Jones says men do seem more intent on wanting to prove something.

Men might gauge their worth by their job performance, he says. They may want to look successful, for instance, even though their achievements don't measure up as they had hoped. "Women often get validity through relationships," he says, and that's true even if they've had a lifelong career. So at midlife, they are likely to evaluate their performance as a wife, mother, or both.

The Midlife Crisis as a Normal Stage in Life
The midlife transition is looked on, more and more, as a normal part of life. Yale psychologist Daniel Levinson proposed in his well-regarded theory of adult development that all adults go through a series of stages. At the center of his theory is the life structure, which is described as the underlying pattern of a person's life at any particular time.

For many people, the life structure involves mainly family and work, but it can also include religion and economic status, for instance. According to his theory, the midlife transition is simply another, normal transition to another stage of life. The Midlife Crisis as a Normal Stage in Life continued...

In midlife, people often reevaluate their priorities and goals, Jones finds. Women, feeling they have raised their children, may want to go back to school, even if they have been in the work force, reasoning they can now do whatever they wish, work-wise. "They're able to follow up on some dreams," he says, that might have been abandoned due to family responsibilities.

"Men may get more in touch with their feminine side," Jones says. That could mean taking up cooking or art or volunteering with children. Meanwhile, midlife women may become more selfish, Jones says, even though they value relationships. They may feel they have "paid their dues" and not be willing, say, to babysit the grandkids every time they are asked...

http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/guide/m...