The Queen's Chair: A Little White Lie

There is no such thing as a "little white lie." Period. A lie is a lie. The effects of a lie are just the same. A lie hurts people's feelings and creates a lack of trust. Honesty, forget about it. Lies aren't color blind. Just because you choose to leave out parts of a story or an explanation: that's a lie, too.

There are some people I had to push out of my life because frankly, they didn't know the difference between a lie and the truth. They couldn't see let alone spell the truth. That's how much they've lied by creating half-truths. My ex-husband lied about going to a party. He knew (in his mind) I didn't care for a certain friend of his. Even though the friend invited both of us to the party, he told me he was doing a favor for his mom.

A few months later, during the course of an argument, he let the "cat" out of the bag. While he saw nothing wrong with his decision, I quickly discovered I couldn't trust him or believe a word out of his mouth. He deliberately lied.

Then he lied about something stupid. He broke a water pitcher that was a wedding present. Rather than tell the truth, he claimed he hadn't seen it and left the living room quickly. I knew that was a lie because I saw it in the sink two days prior. After I nagged him, he finally admitted that he did break it and threw the broken pieces away. My question: Why lie about that? I let him know if he had told me and NOT threw the pieces away, the pitcher could have been repaired for free. His defense: he didn't know that.

I know we all lie at one time or another. Comedian Chris Rock claims that women are the biggest liars: but men lie, too. He said their lies are bigger. For example, a woman will tell a man that it is his baby and she knows it isn't.

All I know are good healthy relationships are built on trust. How can you trust someone who lies to you? It's like living with The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Like my mom says: A liar quickly turns into a thief.

I'm definitely not perfect. I've lied. It's not a white lie. It was a lie. Instead of bursting a new mother's joy over her baby. I opted to make her feel well and share in her joy. She said to me: Isn't my baby the most beautiful child, you've ever seen? My reply was this: "Other than my own children? Yes." All of God's children are beautiful in his eyes and a mother's eyes. Who am I to tell a new mother otherwise?"