STEPHEN COLBERT: PAKISTANIS DID NOT NOTICE BIN LADEN LIVING AMONG BECAUSE...THEY WERE TOO HIGH
THE COLBERT REPORT, May 4, 2011--Stephen Colbert cannot get enough juicy gossip about the fortified compound where Osama bin Laden had been hiding.
On his show Wednesday night, Colbert ran through some of his favorite tidbits about Osama's hideout, paying particular attention to the snack food and marijuana plants reportedly on the premises.
"Coke and Pepsi?," Colbert said, responding to a report that bin Laden had both sodas delivered in bulk to his compound. "Come on bin Laden, we're at Cola war. Pick a side."
"And I gotta say, no Mountain Dew? I thought bin Laden was an Islamic extremist," he added, flashing a shaka hand sign.
Colbert also said he had figured out why the Pakistanis never found bin Laden, even though his conspicuous mansion was a half mile from that country's equivalent of West Point. The reason: the marijuana plants found growing around the compound.
"No wonder no one in that town knew he was there. They were more baked than a Tandoori chicken," Colbert said. "And if anyone said 'Oh my God, I think I saw bin Laden,' their friend would just go, 'Dude, you're being paranoid. Hand me the Nestles."
On his show Wednesday night, Colbert ran through some of his favorite tidbits about Osama's hideout, paying particular attention to the snack food and marijuana plants reportedly on the premises.
"Coke and Pepsi?," Colbert said, responding to a report that bin Laden had both sodas delivered in bulk to his compound. "Come on bin Laden, we're at Cola war. Pick a side."
"And I gotta say, no Mountain Dew? I thought bin Laden was an Islamic extremist," he added, flashing a shaka hand sign.
Colbert also said he had figured out why the Pakistanis never found bin Laden, even though his conspicuous mansion was a half mile from that country's equivalent of West Point. The reason: the marijuana plants found growing around the compound.
"No wonder no one in that town knew he was there. They were more baked than a Tandoori chicken," Colbert said. "And if anyone said 'Oh my God, I think I saw bin Laden,' their friend would just go, 'Dude, you're being paranoid. Hand me the Nestles."
GLAM ON THE LAM...
And watch the photographic evidence--conclusive proof that the compound was surrounded by a marijuana field.
Mmmmmmmm!!!