6 Things I Want My Daughter to Know Before She Starts Dating
by Martine Foreman | on April 18th, 2013 |
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage and Family
If my husband has things his way, my daughter won’t start dating until she is 30. I, however, know that things won’t work out that way, so I want to make sure she is prepared for what the world of dating can bring.
Thankfully, my baby girl is only 5 months old and I have quite a few years ahead before this dating stuff becomes a reality. With that said, I can assure you that these tips will be just as relevant in 16 years as they are today.When it comes to matters of the heart, things just don’t change that much.
I want my daughter to have this information because it will guide her in making the best possible decisions. As her mother, I also believe I am responsible for serving as an advisor, and a good advisor does not tell you what to do. A good advisor makes sure you are equipped with all of the information you need to make the best decisions — on your own. Here’s my advice to my beautiful little girl:
1. Don’t stay involved with anyone who seems like they are trying to hide their relationship with you. When a guy does that he is either ashamed of you, wants to keep up the appearance of being single, or he is messing with someone else. Either way, you deserve someone who is proud to have you on his arm
2. In the words of the wise Dr. Maya Angelou, “when people show you who they are, believe them.” If a guy is a jerk when you first meet him, he will mostly likely always be a jerk. Don’t keep giving him opportunities to show you that he’s not like that, because he probably really is like that.
3. Love yourself, deeply and completely. You will never find a man to love you the way that you deserve to be loved if you can’t even fall in love with yourself.
4. Be yourself. The most difficult thing for me to watch is a girlfriend in a relationship being someone other than herself to please her man. If he doesn’t like the real you, he definitely doesn’t deserve any part of you. Tell him to keep it movin’.
5. Know when to walk away. Women can be so tolerant at times. It’s unnecessary. If you don’t feel appreciated and respected, just walk away – with no apologies. Trust me, there will be someone else.
6. Watch his actions, not his words. It’s pretty easy for someone to say “I Love you.” It’s a lot harder for them to show it. Don’t focus too much on what is coming out of a guy’s mouth. Pay attention to what his actions are telling you, because that is far more meaningful.
BMWK Family, what would you like to teach your daughters before they begin to date?
About the author
Martine Foreman, a New York City native, is the editor and co-founder of JustDiva (www.justdivadaily.com), a lifestyle email publication for the Modern Black Woman. You can also visit her personal blog at www.candidbelle.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her son, daughter, husband, and crazy cats, Spazz and Pepper.
Black and Married With Kids.com
A Positive Image of Marriage and Family
If my husband has things his way, my daughter won’t start dating until she is 30. I, however, know that things won’t work out that way, so I want to make sure she is prepared for what the world of dating can bring.
Thankfully, my baby girl is only 5 months old and I have quite a few years ahead before this dating stuff becomes a reality. With that said, I can assure you that these tips will be just as relevant in 16 years as they are today.When it comes to matters of the heart, things just don’t change that much.
I want my daughter to have this information because it will guide her in making the best possible decisions. As her mother, I also believe I am responsible for serving as an advisor, and a good advisor does not tell you what to do. A good advisor makes sure you are equipped with all of the information you need to make the best decisions — on your own. Here’s my advice to my beautiful little girl:
1. Don’t stay involved with anyone who seems like they are trying to hide their relationship with you. When a guy does that he is either ashamed of you, wants to keep up the appearance of being single, or he is messing with someone else. Either way, you deserve someone who is proud to have you on his arm
2. In the words of the wise Dr. Maya Angelou, “when people show you who they are, believe them.” If a guy is a jerk when you first meet him, he will mostly likely always be a jerk. Don’t keep giving him opportunities to show you that he’s not like that, because he probably really is like that.
3. Love yourself, deeply and completely. You will never find a man to love you the way that you deserve to be loved if you can’t even fall in love with yourself.
4. Be yourself. The most difficult thing for me to watch is a girlfriend in a relationship being someone other than herself to please her man. If he doesn’t like the real you, he definitely doesn’t deserve any part of you. Tell him to keep it movin’.
5. Know when to walk away. Women can be so tolerant at times. It’s unnecessary. If you don’t feel appreciated and respected, just walk away – with no apologies. Trust me, there will be someone else.
6. Watch his actions, not his words. It’s pretty easy for someone to say “I Love you.” It’s a lot harder for them to show it. Don’t focus too much on what is coming out of a guy’s mouth. Pay attention to what his actions are telling you, because that is far more meaningful.
BMWK Family, what would you like to teach your daughters before they begin to date?
About the author
Martine Foreman, a New York City native, is the editor and co-founder of JustDiva (www.justdivadaily.com), a lifestyle email publication for the Modern Black Woman. You can also visit her personal blog at www.candidbelle.com. Martine resides in Maryland with her son, daughter, husband, and crazy cats, Spazz and Pepper.
Yess.. I want to add that "Baby Gurl's" boyfriends or potential boyfriends will have to be interviewed by her father Saint.
One of my strengths is digging deep with probing questions to undercover peoples motives and motivations.
My father was no joke when a couple of boyzs had curiosity towards my baby sister.
I was like damn "pops" get it boi!
I'm following his tradition of Strong and REAL Fathers that keep it righteous!