I was told many years ago to keep a diary of what provokes my epileptic seizures. It's only a few things (things I should be able to control, but can (will) not. We are a stubborn people). I learned from keeping those diaries that writing is a wonderful form of expression. I write all the time. I love to read expressive (meaningful) thoughts of others. It's one of the reasons I love the Minister so much. He says a lot, then, says more than a lot in what he says that you may not hear the first time you listen (or read). I love reading the Holy Qur’an because messages are repeated, just for me.
I have maybe one close friend because not everyone understands. Those that truly understand know if you tell me something, you will get used to repeating it to me at least 3 times, back to back. I am going to ask you to repeat what you said. I play like it’s because I am hard of hearing, but I am not. I can hear a pin drop in the next city. It’s not because I am mentally deficient. I am not, I am very intelligent, but I have to work hard to mentally stimulate my mind - which allows me to keep my intelligence. As an epileptic, I have sporadic memory loss (especially if I have allowed my life to reach the point of less than favorable conditions.)
Does the Minister know me? He repeats everything several times, in several different ways just so I don’t have to ask anyone around me what did he say. To me this is love, a love that I can't say I rightly deserve. When I was in total darkness, an angel was sent to me to show me where that light shone that would help preserve my very being. I want to be in the light so bad, but am I worthy?
There are those that are very strong, then those that are afraid to demonstrate the strength they truly posses. I think I am strong, but very weak in demonstrating it.
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Sunday, September 21st 2008 at 5:19PM
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