Polygamy: What if it was the reverse, women having more than one husband?
To answer Siebra Muhammad question, To the men who talk about polygamy being a good thing let's ask this, would you feel the same way if it was the reverse (women having more than one husband)? Her response to, Should A Man Be Able to Have More Than One Wife?
I recently was invited to speak to an early childhood vocational class of 12th grade female students on this very topic. When I expressed that I believed in polygamy a few of their reactions were that I was just nasty and just wanted s*x.
It is obvious and true that a woman is and would be more capable of s*xually satisfying several and even many men at a time, more so than a man; however, polygamy isn't about s*x.
I have already expressed my point of view on relationships between Black men and women in my postings, Adam and Eve Revised and The Silk Purse Conspiracy, but responding to this question, here is my perspective.
There are so many issues that doesn't support women with a number of husbands, in my opinion, yet I am too aware of women with multiple baby daddies. It is truly possible, look at all the women who are raising their children alone, by different men and some keeping a relationship with each man. But look how the family suffers when those men neglect their responsibilities.
The first question, I posed to the female group was, since most women have a difficult time dealing emotional with one man, how would they handle dealing with several men?
I then pointed out to them, I as a male having millions of sperm cells this would enable me to impregnate, in one months time, every single female in the school.
They as females given one egg each month, do they just squander their choice with more than one male? If so, who is the daddy of their child?
Just saying, that not knowing isn't important, then when the woman is pregnant for one husband, what are the others to do sit around twiddling their thumbs or will they all continue to s*x her? Now to me this sounds disturbing.
Now, it is one thing to serve several in and out men at a time, but to serve several healthy demanding men daily, How many women really want that? Even prostitutes break down after a while.
My feelings about Polygamy is not about s*x, you can buy s*x and have a different partners every time, to me that would be Nasty.
Now, Monogamy is very important for the well being of the entire family, but my position on Polygamy is about wealth and power that a large productive family can command.
How can a polygamist be Monogamous? Simply by having s*x only with his wives.
Polygamy, to me, only works when all the parents are involved with the raising of the children and providing the basic needs of their children.
Men who father children with different women and walk away are not Polygamist.
There was a time in my youth had my goals been reached, I would have been financially capable of creating the family structure I had envisioned. Considering all things, I feel that men of my age group whom have already successfully raised their families would be the best solution to unifying many of our dysfunctional black families by adoption the whole family, instead of breaking up families and spreading the children around into foster care.
I feel what I and other fathers have to offer a woman raising her children alone, would benefit and make a difference in their lives.
Today, I don't have a need to father any more children, so I wouldn't have a problem raising someone else's with the same assistance that the system offers to foster care providers.
This arrangement could be much like a father helping to support a daughter, niece, friend or neighbor. To think that a woman and her children wouldn't become attached to the man helping them is naive; then again, to think that a man would commit himself to a woman and she have a lover would never work, there lies a dilemma.
So basically, by adopting the whole family keeping them together helping the mother and her children catch themselves, like a father, when the family is able to go it alone, you see them off with your well wishes.
I came across this article that would supports my idea of adopting on a broader level:
Here is the link with the complete article:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43085435
I recently was invited to speak to an early childhood vocational class of 12th grade female students on this very topic. When I expressed that I believed in polygamy a few of their reactions were that I was just nasty and just wanted s*x.
It is obvious and true that a woman is and would be more capable of s*xually satisfying several and even many men at a time, more so than a man; however, polygamy isn't about s*x.
I have already expressed my point of view on relationships between Black men and women in my postings, Adam and Eve Revised and The Silk Purse Conspiracy, but responding to this question, here is my perspective.
There are so many issues that doesn't support women with a number of husbands, in my opinion, yet I am too aware of women with multiple baby daddies. It is truly possible, look at all the women who are raising their children alone, by different men and some keeping a relationship with each man. But look how the family suffers when those men neglect their responsibilities.
The first question, I posed to the female group was, since most women have a difficult time dealing emotional with one man, how would they handle dealing with several men?
I then pointed out to them, I as a male having millions of sperm cells this would enable me to impregnate, in one months time, every single female in the school.
They as females given one egg each month, do they just squander their choice with more than one male? If so, who is the daddy of their child?
Just saying, that not knowing isn't important, then when the woman is pregnant for one husband, what are the others to do sit around twiddling their thumbs or will they all continue to s*x her? Now to me this sounds disturbing.
Now, it is one thing to serve several in and out men at a time, but to serve several healthy demanding men daily, How many women really want that? Even prostitutes break down after a while.
My feelings about Polygamy is not about s*x, you can buy s*x and have a different partners every time, to me that would be Nasty.
Now, Monogamy is very important for the well being of the entire family, but my position on Polygamy is about wealth and power that a large productive family can command.
How can a polygamist be Monogamous? Simply by having s*x only with his wives.
Polygamy, to me, only works when all the parents are involved with the raising of the children and providing the basic needs of their children.
Men who father children with different women and walk away are not Polygamist.
There was a time in my youth had my goals been reached, I would have been financially capable of creating the family structure I had envisioned. Considering all things, I feel that men of my age group whom have already successfully raised their families would be the best solution to unifying many of our dysfunctional black families by adoption the whole family, instead of breaking up families and spreading the children around into foster care.
I feel what I and other fathers have to offer a woman raising her children alone, would benefit and make a difference in their lives.
Today, I don't have a need to father any more children, so I wouldn't have a problem raising someone else's with the same assistance that the system offers to foster care providers.
This arrangement could be much like a father helping to support a daughter, niece, friend or neighbor. To think that a woman and her children wouldn't become attached to the man helping them is naive; then again, to think that a man would commit himself to a woman and she have a lover would never work, there lies a dilemma.
So basically, by adopting the whole family keeping them together helping the mother and her children catch themselves, like a father, when the family is able to go it alone, you see them off with your well wishes.
I came across this article that would supports my idea of adopting on a broader level:
Here is the link with the complete article:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43085435
Peace Brother Ivan,
Thanks for sharing this article. I agree with your statement, polygamy is not (and should not be) about s*x. And I'm not saying what others should or should not do as far as marriage/relationships are concerned, we are all adults and capable of making our own decisions. However, I believe polygamy is best left for the ones who are wise enough to employ said life style. It takes knowledge, wisdom, understanding, much patience, and love for righteousness to be successful.
A man doesn't need to marry more than one wife if he doesn't have himself together first and isn't able to support his first wife and the children born of that union with that first wife. I say that because if you look in parts of Africa (or even the Caribbean) there are numerous examples of Black men who have several wives who are handling their business.
Even in this society, in the past, when Black men had some control over the economics of their communities, Black men were able to support their wives, all their children, as well as mistresses on the side....not that I justify adultery in any form.
Then there is also the issue of having one of the wives feeling jealous or neglected compared to the others. Show me a family with several children in it and I will show you a child that feels neglected and unfairly treated in many instances. The same applies for polygamous marriages, I don't think there is no man alive that can treat and love two (or more) women the same, so therefore there will always be some jealousy and envy. For the brothers who think that there will not be some jealousy and envy, they are in denial and these brother's lack of knowledge is transparent to all but them.
The point I'm making is people who practice polygamy should do so in a righteous manner. Polygamy is not to be used for vain or selfish purposes or to condone the appetite of man's lower desires in the name of Allah.