Don't Nothin' Want a Bone but a Dog! CELEBRATE Your Thickness!!!
I wrote this back in 2004 due to the frustration of so many actors and acresses losing immense amounts of weight and amidst the climax of America's obsession with being way too thin. Not only that, the pressures that caused bulimia and anorexia to run afoul through our communities and with our young girls trying to look like the images in the magazines and darn near killing themselves to get there.
It's amazing to me how much things have changed in 4 years. Now, I do see plus size models in some retail stores and there are some thick chics on tv and in ads. It's refreshing, so there still should be more of it.
Well...here it goes...
Imagine this: you walk into a major women's department store and the mannequin is a size twelve. She has visible hips and thighs and a full derriere. She's adorned in a gray, double-breasted pants suit. The colorful mint green camisole worn underneath shyly peeks through at her neck line. The suit drapes where it should and accommodates the contours of her silhouette in like manner. She sure looks good, doesn't she?
The painful truth is that until society opens its eyes, we will never know. Until advertisers start using someone who looks like me to advertise the clothes they sell in my size, society will never get a wide stream, accurate depiction of the beauty in the woman I affectionately call the Thick Chic. Think about this: are advertisers who refuse to put my likeness in their commercials or catalogs trying to suggest that I can buy their clothes but they can't successfully use me as a medium to sell their clothes? If truth lives in that question, then why do advertisers sell their clothes in my size? I already know the answer to that. Money. It's the bottom line. The harsher truth is that if I continue to purchase their products though I know I'm severely under-represented, advertisers lose any motivation to even consider utilizing my likeness. (It's like the old adage that references getting the milk without needing to purchase the cow).
As for the Thick Chic, who is she? Among others, I am the Thick Chic. It's the name I gave myself for those who dare use the word 'fat' to describe me or anyone who looks like me. To correct some and educate others, there are fundamental differences between thick and fat. Thick is tone, and the Thick Chic's wealth of healthiness is evenly distributed. She carries her thickness with confidence and is not secretly trying to find a way to get rid of it. She celebrates her curves, holds her head up high and understands that beauty resides within her and exudes out. She uses exercise as a means of further toning and maintaining what she has, not to get rid of it. She does not secretly wish to be a size six nor does she secretly starve herself or binge and purge in an effort to fit the mold of what others find beautiful. She knows that size six does not fit the mold of her true reality. Her confidence convinces her of who she is and what she has to offer. She does not need society's stamp of approval to determine her value for she identifies herself as a priceless commodity. Her wisdom reminds her that some magazine images are airbrushed to look perfect and that women who depend on a popular, unattractive media and print-driven image tread on dangerous ground-- they are easily manipulated, and as a result, make unwise decisions and lose their true selves in others' expectations. The Thick Chic is relieved by her abundance of self-love and looks in the mirror to envision beauty staring back at her in the form of her own reflection. Finally, she considers any valid opinion as one based primarily on her character, integrity and intelligence, not merely on shallow, surface-level observations.
On an even more serious note, the Thick Chic's weight does not threaten her health and safety; she's not struggling to breathe because her weight is smothering her heart. She has not been advised to have, for example, a gastric bypass or other surgical or medicinal procedures to potentially combat morbid obesity. To phrase it bluntly, obese and fat are synonymous with each other. If a woman’s weight is killing her or causing her a host of medical dilemmas, it is, arguably, a wise idea to lose weight. However, whether thick or fat, taking the weight loss goal to the extreme is highly unhealthy, unwise and unnecessary. If at any time, the desire or necessity to shed excess weight leads a woman to the Pit Stop of Starvation or Binge and Purge Boulevard, she should seek professional help because her self-image and reasoning skills need adjustment.
Look around you. Thick Chics are EVERYWHERE! Queen Latifah is the Thick Chic. Oprah Winfrey is the Thick Chic. Jennifer Hudson is the Thick Chic. Beyonce Knowles is the Thick Chic. Kate Winslet is the Thick Chic. Tyra Banks is the Thick Chic. America Idol finalist, Kimberley Locke, is the Thick Chic. Serena Williams is the Thick Chic. America’s Next Top Model finalist, Toccara Jones, is the Thick Chic. America Ferrera from television hit, “Ugly Betty,” is the Thick Chic. All of these women are the Thick ChicS and they are ALL absolutely gorgeous.
On a purely personal note for women: am I suggesting that a woman who starves herself is unreasonable? Am I suggesting that a woman who binges and purges is unreasonable? YES, I AM. I realize that it's a strong statement, but it is an absolutely necessary one. If any part of you can convince you to starve yourself, your reasoning has traveled more than a bit afar off. If compelled, for any reason, to stuff yourself with as much food as possible for the sole purpose of jamming your finger or like object down your throat to throw it up, your actions clearly suggest reasoning deficiency. Regardless of the reason, no justification exists for what only amounts to self-destruction.
Frankly, it proves a sad commentary when we promote the ideology that beauty is the emaciated appearance of a size two frame, with thin skin clinging to the rib cage and the back bone just an inch from breaking through the surface. My grandmother used to say, "Don't nothin' want a bone but a dog!" And I aptly added, "...and he doesn't want it for too long after he realizes there's no meat on it. He'll eventually bury it in the backyard and forget about it."
Obviously, this line of dialogue is meant as light-hearted banter between my grandmother and me. To avoid misunderstanding, I do not take issue with the woman who is naturally thin. She likely has a high metabolism and cannot help being thin; my grandmother was naturally thin her whole life, but she celebrated the beauty in me at every opportunity. To continue, if the woman who is not naturally thin becomes thin through diet and exercise or even via a surgical procedure, as long as she has not done so primarily to please others, I do not take issue. In short, if she has lost weight for herself or for her health but has not endangered her life in any way, I do not take issue. If thin is comfortable for one and thickness is comfortable for another, it's a non-issue—or at least it should be. If a woman can be truly content is either skin, I harbor no ill will because we all have the right to make choices.
However, I harbor plenty of ill will toward the divisiveness of media, print and peer groups who suggest that only the thin woman is beautiful or has value. As women, we all have beauty and grace. Each of us has something grand to offer the world. Our size should not sit at the top of the list of attributes that people utilize as a form of our remembrance. I'd like to be remembered as a spiritually sound woman, exemplary daughter and mother and a phenomenal wife. It would sadden me if anyone used my thickness or thinness as a primary mode of recollection.
It's equally important to recognize that severity lies on both sides of the spectrum; being morbidly thin presents as many problems as being morbidly obese. A woman who drops from 180 pounds to 95 pounds could well stand as much of a chance of cutting short her life as the woman who tops off at 300 pounds, since the human body is not designed to function successfully if she sits contently at the extreme end of either spectrum. As for a woman's appearance, it can be easily argued that being severely underweight is just as difficult to look at as being severely overweight.
Sure, I wonder about severely overweight women when I see them out and about, sometimes barely holding on because they're understandably out of breath or quickly exhausted by the physical constraints that come with bearing more weight than a human skeleton was meant to support. However, I am equally, if not more so, astounded when I set eyes on a woman who is so thin that her collar bone, knee caps and rib cage bulge out. It's appalling that there are those who actually think it's attractive to have completely sunken cheekbones and sagging skin where muscle once inhabited.
Give the following some serious thought: if we saw a dog's ribcage bulging out or a horse with a severely thin frame, what would we think? Most likely, we would think the animals have been starved or neglected in some way. It would likely disgust us that the owner of the animal would allow it to happen and some of us would quickly attempt to intervene on behalf of those animals. Given that, the question becomes this: if we hold such regard and reverence for animals, should we not hold ourselves to the same, if not even higher, standards?
© Copyright, 2004
It's amazing to me how much things have changed in 4 years. Now, I do see plus size models in some retail stores and there are some thick chics on tv and in ads. It's refreshing, so there still should be more of it.
Well...here it goes...
Imagine this: you walk into a major women's department store and the mannequin is a size twelve. She has visible hips and thighs and a full derriere. She's adorned in a gray, double-breasted pants suit. The colorful mint green camisole worn underneath shyly peeks through at her neck line. The suit drapes where it should and accommodates the contours of her silhouette in like manner. She sure looks good, doesn't she?
The painful truth is that until society opens its eyes, we will never know. Until advertisers start using someone who looks like me to advertise the clothes they sell in my size, society will never get a wide stream, accurate depiction of the beauty in the woman I affectionately call the Thick Chic. Think about this: are advertisers who refuse to put my likeness in their commercials or catalogs trying to suggest that I can buy their clothes but they can't successfully use me as a medium to sell their clothes? If truth lives in that question, then why do advertisers sell their clothes in my size? I already know the answer to that. Money. It's the bottom line. The harsher truth is that if I continue to purchase their products though I know I'm severely under-represented, advertisers lose any motivation to even consider utilizing my likeness. (It's like the old adage that references getting the milk without needing to purchase the cow).
As for the Thick Chic, who is she? Among others, I am the Thick Chic. It's the name I gave myself for those who dare use the word 'fat' to describe me or anyone who looks like me. To correct some and educate others, there are fundamental differences between thick and fat. Thick is tone, and the Thick Chic's wealth of healthiness is evenly distributed. She carries her thickness with confidence and is not secretly trying to find a way to get rid of it. She celebrates her curves, holds her head up high and understands that beauty resides within her and exudes out. She uses exercise as a means of further toning and maintaining what she has, not to get rid of it. She does not secretly wish to be a size six nor does she secretly starve herself or binge and purge in an effort to fit the mold of what others find beautiful. She knows that size six does not fit the mold of her true reality. Her confidence convinces her of who she is and what she has to offer. She does not need society's stamp of approval to determine her value for she identifies herself as a priceless commodity. Her wisdom reminds her that some magazine images are airbrushed to look perfect and that women who depend on a popular, unattractive media and print-driven image tread on dangerous ground-- they are easily manipulated, and as a result, make unwise decisions and lose their true selves in others' expectations. The Thick Chic is relieved by her abundance of self-love and looks in the mirror to envision beauty staring back at her in the form of her own reflection. Finally, she considers any valid opinion as one based primarily on her character, integrity and intelligence, not merely on shallow, surface-level observations.
On an even more serious note, the Thick Chic's weight does not threaten her health and safety; she's not struggling to breathe because her weight is smothering her heart. She has not been advised to have, for example, a gastric bypass or other surgical or medicinal procedures to potentially combat morbid obesity. To phrase it bluntly, obese and fat are synonymous with each other. If a woman’s weight is killing her or causing her a host of medical dilemmas, it is, arguably, a wise idea to lose weight. However, whether thick or fat, taking the weight loss goal to the extreme is highly unhealthy, unwise and unnecessary. If at any time, the desire or necessity to shed excess weight leads a woman to the Pit Stop of Starvation or Binge and Purge Boulevard, she should seek professional help because her self-image and reasoning skills need adjustment.
Look around you. Thick Chics are EVERYWHERE! Queen Latifah is the Thick Chic. Oprah Winfrey is the Thick Chic. Jennifer Hudson is the Thick Chic. Beyonce Knowles is the Thick Chic. Kate Winslet is the Thick Chic. Tyra Banks is the Thick Chic. America Idol finalist, Kimberley Locke, is the Thick Chic. Serena Williams is the Thick Chic. America’s Next Top Model finalist, Toccara Jones, is the Thick Chic. America Ferrera from television hit, “Ugly Betty,” is the Thick Chic. All of these women are the Thick ChicS and they are ALL absolutely gorgeous.
On a purely personal note for women: am I suggesting that a woman who starves herself is unreasonable? Am I suggesting that a woman who binges and purges is unreasonable? YES, I AM. I realize that it's a strong statement, but it is an absolutely necessary one. If any part of you can convince you to starve yourself, your reasoning has traveled more than a bit afar off. If compelled, for any reason, to stuff yourself with as much food as possible for the sole purpose of jamming your finger or like object down your throat to throw it up, your actions clearly suggest reasoning deficiency. Regardless of the reason, no justification exists for what only amounts to self-destruction.
Frankly, it proves a sad commentary when we promote the ideology that beauty is the emaciated appearance of a size two frame, with thin skin clinging to the rib cage and the back bone just an inch from breaking through the surface. My grandmother used to say, "Don't nothin' want a bone but a dog!" And I aptly added, "...and he doesn't want it for too long after he realizes there's no meat on it. He'll eventually bury it in the backyard and forget about it."
Obviously, this line of dialogue is meant as light-hearted banter between my grandmother and me. To avoid misunderstanding, I do not take issue with the woman who is naturally thin. She likely has a high metabolism and cannot help being thin; my grandmother was naturally thin her whole life, but she celebrated the beauty in me at every opportunity. To continue, if the woman who is not naturally thin becomes thin through diet and exercise or even via a surgical procedure, as long as she has not done so primarily to please others, I do not take issue. In short, if she has lost weight for herself or for her health but has not endangered her life in any way, I do not take issue. If thin is comfortable for one and thickness is comfortable for another, it's a non-issue—or at least it should be. If a woman can be truly content is either skin, I harbor no ill will because we all have the right to make choices.
However, I harbor plenty of ill will toward the divisiveness of media, print and peer groups who suggest that only the thin woman is beautiful or has value. As women, we all have beauty and grace. Each of us has something grand to offer the world. Our size should not sit at the top of the list of attributes that people utilize as a form of our remembrance. I'd like to be remembered as a spiritually sound woman, exemplary daughter and mother and a phenomenal wife. It would sadden me if anyone used my thickness or thinness as a primary mode of recollection.
It's equally important to recognize that severity lies on both sides of the spectrum; being morbidly thin presents as many problems as being morbidly obese. A woman who drops from 180 pounds to 95 pounds could well stand as much of a chance of cutting short her life as the woman who tops off at 300 pounds, since the human body is not designed to function successfully if she sits contently at the extreme end of either spectrum. As for a woman's appearance, it can be easily argued that being severely underweight is just as difficult to look at as being severely overweight.
Sure, I wonder about severely overweight women when I see them out and about, sometimes barely holding on because they're understandably out of breath or quickly exhausted by the physical constraints that come with bearing more weight than a human skeleton was meant to support. However, I am equally, if not more so, astounded when I set eyes on a woman who is so thin that her collar bone, knee caps and rib cage bulge out. It's appalling that there are those who actually think it's attractive to have completely sunken cheekbones and sagging skin where muscle once inhabited.
Give the following some serious thought: if we saw a dog's ribcage bulging out or a horse with a severely thin frame, what would we think? Most likely, we would think the animals have been starved or neglected in some way. It would likely disgust us that the owner of the animal would allow it to happen and some of us would quickly attempt to intervene on behalf of those animals. Given that, the question becomes this: if we hold such regard and reverence for animals, should we not hold ourselves to the same, if not even higher, standards?
© Copyright, 2004
I've heard fat chicks describe themselves as "curvy". Curvy women have "curves". That (ideally) means large breasts, smaller waistline, larger buttocks, outward hips & thighs and meat on their calves. Or at least it used to mean that.
Now, when women say they're "curvy, it usually means that they are either "box" shaped or just plain obese -- which is neither s*xy nor healthy. I'm all for "a little something to grab onto", and I certainly don't want bones poking my eye out at night, but let's not overlook certain truths that have hurt us collectively.
Obesity is a serious epidemic in the Black and Hispanic communities. We live shorter, unhealthier lives of nearly everyone else on the planet. Japanese and French women have nearly no fat. Where I live, I see White and Asian women out jogging, walking, doing what they can to stay fit. Rarely do I see a Black or Hispanic woman doing the same. Yet they'll go to online dating sites and claim they're "curvy" all the wile attemping to disguise the fact that they are FAT and lazy. Not saying you, Dee, but many do.
Case study: Years ago (when I was doing that sort of thing...) I met a lady through Yahoo! Dating who proceeded to tell me that Black men no longer appreciated a "shapely" Black woman anymore. I assured her that I was all about "shapely" Black women and agreed to meet for dinner. WHOA ... I should have known she was about to enter the restaurant when the bus boys all stopped to grease the door down so that her enormous, ENORMOUS fat ass and hips could slide in.
As a people, we all need to suck it up and get healthier. Young people are larger than ever. I've got a niece not even 20 yet and well over 200#; and an in-law -- in her mid 20s -- more than 300#! Most of my in-laws struggle to get off the sofa. And the 300 pounder? She used to be skinny!
So, of course Madison Avenue isn't going to celebrate fatness, it ain't s*xy, and we live in a sociey where s*x-y sells. I was sent a press release recently about some fat women who wanted to be celebrated. Did I run it? Hell no! Then I saw them on a local news program, and while the Black male anchor tried to convince himself and others that he thought they were "hot", one could see right through him. Those chicks were FAT!