"LIVING IN FEAR"
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Posted By: TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen on October 24, 2008 This will be the first of a two part story.... Believe it or not it's about me and my triumph over domestic ****. My hopes in writing this is to help someone who is experiencing this tragedy which is a part of our society on a daily basis overcome the feelings of worthlessness and self doubt so that she/he to can be a living testimony to someone else if no one but her/his children. Yes it happens to men as well. If it is not of use to you pass it on to someone who it may be. We all know someone who is going through... "LIVING IN FEAR" It was the summer of 1990 when I had met and thought I'd fell in love with my abuser who is the biological father of my first two children. I had been taking care of my brother who was a couple of months old and like my first child which is why I say I have 5 boys. I thought he was perfect, everything I wanted and needed but at the age of 16 we all know what that's like; no long term life standing goals are hardly made and stuck with at such a young age. The abuse didn't come right in the beginning, it came after the birth of our first child; which was all too soon! I'd gotten pregnant only 3-4 months into the relationship. I was living on the west side of Chicago when the baby was born in February of 1991, he was living on the south side of Chicago. It had only been two weeks since the baby was born when he wanted me to come to his house for a visit with the baby and me, so being young and naive as most 16 year olds are (against my great -grandmothers wishes who felt I should still be in bed resting) I went. When I look back I regret every minute of it. I remember arguing with him when I was getting ready to leave because he wasn't ready for me to go, but the ride home was about 2 and a half hours long on the bus and then the transfer from one train to another which was underground. It was late and I insisted that I was leaving because I had to go alone. We were walking down the street in the slush and ice that was left behind from the heavy snow earlier in the week. He kept trying to take the baby saying " You can go but my baby's staying here with me." Of course I refused to leave my newborn baby with him in a house full of what I knew to be irresponsible teenage boys who couldn't even take care of themselves, let alone my child. We came to a busy intersection on a street named Stony Island which has 8 lanes 4 in each direction. He once again tried to take the baby and the baby and I almost fell. That's when it all happened! He proclaimed that I was trying to hurt "his baby" so while I was trying to regain my balance he hit me in the eye. I had already had a lazy eye and sometimes had trouble focusing, but when he did that I saw stars literally. I was off balance and began to wonder off into the oncoming traffic trying to get away from him. I couldn't believe that he had done such a thing to me "the mother of his child" especially while I was holding the baby in my arms. I started to cry and scream frantically, I was hurt and scared so I did this in order to draw attention. No one stopped to help me, but he finally ran off. I went to the pay phone to call my sisters mother because she lived in the area and while I waited for her to come he kept coming around taunting me. When she arrived she was very upset and I can say would probably have **** him if she had found him. If you enjoyed this article, Join BlackInAmerica.com today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen
Website Administrative Assistant/Homemaker, SeeingGrowth/Self Employed Member Since August 2008 |
Comments
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God bless you Sis. I wrote my autobiography detailing my struggles with abuse, etc. Sis, I applaud you for writing your story. I do believe that sharing the story with others will bless someone who is trapped in domestic violence and feeling unloved, unworthy but stories like yours and mine, I pray, will help them to see that the devil is a liar and that they can come out of that situation and be made whole.
Friday, October 24th 2008 at 11:43AM |
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TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen
God Bless you as well Linda, Website Administrative Assistant/Homemaker at SeeingGrowth/Self Employed It is through our survival that others will be saved! I truly believe that we have gone through things in order to be a help to someone else. We all have a purpose some of us have many. I know that my testimonial will save someone even if it's just 1 woman I know my life trials and tribulations have not been in vain. Thank you for blessing me with your words sis... I appreciate you. (HUGS) Saturday, October 25th 2008 at 12:22AM |
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TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen
Candice it is by Gods grace that I am here to tell my story sis... Website Administrative Assistant/Homemaker at SeeingGrowth/Self Employed I couldn't have said it better myself my testimony has been a big part of my growth so I will definitely continue. Blessings to you too sis... God has us in His loving arms!! (HUGS) Saturday, October 25th 2008 at 12:45AM |
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God brought you here today to let the world know that there is strength within. There are many people who can not find and use that strength. Continue sharing that strength...I enjoy Seeing Growth with you.
Sunday, October 26th 2008 at 1:50PM |
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TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen
Emmanuel you are so right. It is because of God that I was able to survive the tragedies of my life but when I think of it tragedies isn't such a good word for it because if it weren't for those things from my past I wouldn't be the woman I am today. Website Administrative Assistant/Homemaker at SeeingGrowth/Self Employed God showed me my strength and I think I'm doing what he wants me to do by sharing it with others. "Each one teach/reach one" is the moto I try my best to live by... I enjoy the Journey of Growth with you as well, God puts people in your life for a reason so we shall continue to Journey and See Growth together! (BIG WARM CUDDLY HUGS) Tuesday, October 28th 2008 at 3:01AM |
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