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From a Little Girls cries ...To a Woman who's a SURVIVOR

From a Little Girls cries ...To a Woman who's a SURVIVOR "My mother's younger brother has passed away..."

TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen · Wednesday, October 8th 2008 at 7:55AM · 855 views
From a Little Girls cries (you supposed to love not hurt me)...To a Woman who's a SURVIVOR (grew and healed learned to let it be)! "My mother's younger brother has passed away..."

My mother's younger brother has passed away and I can't say that it is my saddest of days. My heart is unable to hurt for him and my soul can't feel love for him from within.

You see at a young ripe age he violated me, he took something precious, irreplaceable and life changing.
For years I never knew my self worth what purpose God had for me here on this earth.

Loving
me,
what
a
joke!!!

As an adolescent I gave of myself too freely,

As a teenager I had my first child and suffered abuse from a male who claimed he loved me yet treated me as though
I were an animal in the wild.

As an adult I finally started to mend,
learned to love myself and have a little trust in men.


My mother's younger brother has passed away and I can't say that it is my saddest of days. My heart is unable to hurt for him and my soul can't feel love for him from within.

I love him as a human because it's what God wants me to do
It's hard for me to find love beyond that
due to the pain he put me through.

For years I thought it was my fault
Tried countless times to take my life at all cost.

You see I saw no purpose for living...
In life it's all about taking and giving.
Somethings are better given than took and now when I think back I wonder if he'd done it had he took a second look...

A look into
my eyes
and saw the

disdain

A look into
my eyes
and and felt my

pain

A look into
my soul
and known that

I was dying

A look into
my soul
and heard

my inner crying

A look into
my face
and realize

I was his niece

A look into
my face
and come to grips that

I was not a piece of meat!!!


My mother's younger brother has passed away and I can't say that it is my saddest of days. My heart is unable to hurt for him and my soul can't feel love for him from within.

I've grown so much since those days
I've learned to thank God in countless ways
I've grown to a woman who now loves self completely
I've learned that I am perfectly imperfect... you see that's just

"The Beauty Of Me!"

I've grown to knowing that had I let this situation take control
I wouldn't be...

The Queen God Designed Within Me!

I've learned to not hold on to past hurts and demons they only torment and drain the center of my being...

NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS WORTH SELF HINDERING!!!


Written By: Ta'Nisha
Dedicated To: Mookie (My Inner Child)
Copyright © 2008

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Comments (3)

agnes levine Thursday, October 9th 2008 at 10:19AM

Thank you so much for sharing this very personal and sensitive piece. It is beautifully written and conveys strong emotions readily understandable. I hope all the men read this post because it is very telling of a how a woman must reshape herself on may levels and mainly spiritual after being a victim of a s*x crime.

God bless you and keep it flowing...

Emmanuel Brown Friday, October 10th 2008 at 12:22AM

This is very strong of you to share this with us, it shows how far you have come to be able to even speak about it.

TaNisha Gray Juisee Da Queen Friday, October 10th 2008 at 12:54AM

Agnes,
I share because it may help another heal. When you go through these kinds of things in life you normally feel alone so if my sharing helps another to know that there are people who understand and they are not alone then it's my pleasure. It was a healing process for me as well.

Emmanuel,
I appreciate that you seeing that it took strength and courage to write about my experience. I don't want to see other young girls thinking it's their fault, which is something I had to learn over time... It wasn't my fault but for so long I thought it was.
I have God and having a great support system through the people who love me.

I appreciate you both taking the time to read and comment on my writing.

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